Even His Corpse Will Brag

Anyone who doubts Roland Burris' qualifications to serve as the next senator from Illinois may want to head to Chicago's Oak Woods Cemetery. There, Burris, whom embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich appointed to succeed President-elect Barack Obama in the Senate on Tuesday, has erected a granite mausoleum listing his many accomplishments.

Under the seal of the state of Illinois and the words "Trail Blazer," Burris, 71, has listed his many firsts in granite, including being the state's first African-American attorney general and the state's first African-American comptroller.

I almost spit up my corn flakes reading this article. I would think you'd want to win a World Series or Super Bowl, or maybe, you know, be PRESIDENT before doing something like this. I mean, there are hundreds of people with more impressive career accomplishments (Tiger Woods would need the Great Wall of China) than this guy. What do you think, is he beyond arrogant, or has he earned the right to brag about his life?

Chuck B Pulls No Punches

From his DUI arrest report...

DECEMBER 31--Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had "given him a 'blow job' one week earlier," which the former NBA star described as "the best one he had ever had in his life."

You have to read the rest of what the Smoking Gun has uncovered, including a fascinating tattoo promise. I wonder, did he call Dwayne Wade to bail him out?

Jigga's Worst Nightmare...

Jems, you know you cannot resist the awesome power!

New Year's Eve Rumblings

While I'm snowed in waiting for Mrs. SCZA to get home... let's enjoy some quality video.

First up, my boy Milan Lucic tears apart some pussy from the Penguins. My favorite part of this battle is the playing of John Cena's theme song "My Time Is Now" on the PA while the fight is going on. It being Pittsburgh and all, I'm surprised they didn't go with a little "Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple in honor of The Franchise Shane Douglas.


Here's a weird one from last night's Celtics-Blazers game that had me shouting at my television last night. Coming out of a timeout for what ended up being the last play of the first half, Portland had SIX guys on the floor. The ensuing power play ended up with a Travis Outlaw dunk. KG immediately went KG on the official, who called a technical on the Blazers, BUT ALLOWED THE BASKET TO COUNT. How is that legal?


More importantly, why were the Celtics so easily rattled last night? They are supposed to be the mentally tough defending NBA champs. Instead, they let Greg Oden push them around, and all too often, the CSN cameras caught them arguing with each other. I think it's time for Doc to give them a reminder on just what ubuntu is all about.

Maybe Fritz Persico Can Coach The Running Backs

Update 2: He even gets a headline on ESPN.com!

Update: Congrats Kevin! You'll do us Orangefolk proud. (Hey, my Facebook page is famous!)

From Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician:

Is This The Next SU Director of Football Operations?

Currently the University of Tennessee Director of High School Relations, Kevin VanDerzee is a graduate of Cortland State (check), has previously held the position of director of football operations at Central Connecticut State and UMass (check) and coached briefly at the University of Albany (check). No confirmation yet but he fits the Doug Marrone criteria for sure.

Hey Sean - you left out his stint with the Richmond Spiders (hmm, where have I heard of that school before). Good to see a proud Ravena High School graduate (BCHS's illegitimate cousins) and I believe a one-time Waddingham's sneaker pusher back in the day getting Big East props. I ran into Kevin a couple of years ago when he was working at Central Connecticut and we swapped business cards... he seemed to be doing well. Now if he can only answer whether it's pronounced "Mah-rone" (what I thought) or "Mah-roney" (what my Dad keeps saying).

Weep For The Mangenius

Or not, because he did do a piss poor job of coaching this team all year. First, they overreacted to how quickly Brett Favre could pick up the offense, playing super conservative football for the first half of the season, and paying the price.

Then they opened things up, going to a slashing attack filled with Thomas Jones runs and quick slants over the middle. It cleared things up for Leon Washington and the offense took off, and the 8-3 Jets looked like a Super Bowl contender.

And then Kris Jenkins and the defense started to wilt. And the points weren't coming as easily as they were. And the offense went right back into the same conservative shell.

The next thing you know, the Jets were losing games they should have easily won, and 8-3 quickly became 9-6... and then the coup de grace, basically trying hard for a half against Miami before seeing that Baltimore was killing Jacksonville... so the mission became tank, and tank well, to keep the evil Patriots out of the playoffs. That might have been the only thing the Jets did right all year.

And that is the lasting memory of the Mangini regime - sticking it to the Patriots, be it Spygate, the great Thursday night game this year, and now the final tank. Good riddance Mangenius, and take Brian Schottenheimer with you.

The recent reports about Bill Parcells make you wonder if he'll exercise his ridiculous "new owner" out clause and come work for the Jets new ownership (well, new to him). Throw in Matt Cassel at quarterback (hey, why not - Favre looks done this time) and you'll have even better storylines for next year.